English teacher
Hi. I´m looking for English teacher. . I attend a language school but we have grammar only. I need the conversation. I´m looking for a person who is able to come to my flat, usually afternoon or we can to go to the restaurant and speak there.  I live in Prague 5 and I have a small child. :)

What are your experience with language schools? And with private teachers? Do you think I need native English speaker for conversation? I am only mírně pokročilý. :reta:

chomáček napsal(a):

English teacher
Hi. I´m looking for English teacher. . I attend a language school but we have grammar only. I need the conversation. I´m looking for a person who is able to come to my flat, usually afternoon or we can to go to the restaurant and speak there.  I live in Prague 5 and I have a small child. :)

What are your experience with language schools? And with private teachers? Do you think I need native English speaker for conversation? I am only mírně pokročilý. :reta:

Hi Chomáček,

I am able to have a conversation with you. If you wonna know more about me write me on em. adress: andreasik@seznam.cz, we can meet each other :supr:

Americky - lekcia 1.

Keď si chceš objednať coca-colu, musíš povedať
- GIMI E KOUK

Keď si chceš objednať kávu a koláč, tak sa hovorí
- KOFI EN DONAT

Keď si privrieš palec vo dverách, má sa povedať
- FOK

Keď v obchode uvidíš niečo veľmi drahé, má sa povedať
- FOK

Keď si prepadnutý v Bronxe (alebo niekde inde), má sa povedať

- FOK

Keď stretneš krásne dievča, hovorí sa
- UOATA FOK

Keď na teba niekto kričí a používa slovo FOK, máš mu odpovedať
- FOKJU TU

Keď stratíš peňaženku s dokladmi, máš policajtovi povedať
- AJ LOST MAJ FOKIN PEJPRS

Keď sa chceš vyspať s peknou blondínkou, máš povedať
- AJ UOANA FOK UIZ JU alebo HAU KEN AJ FOKJU

Keď hľadáš taxík, máš sa opýtať
- HAU TU GET A FOKIN KAB

Keď niečo nefunguje, máš povedať
- FOK ZAT SHIT

Keď ťa niekto rozčuľuje, más sa opýtať
- ARJU FOKIN MI?

Keď to nefunguje, tak
- UOAT DA FOK JU UONT?

A teraz si skúsime celé vety:

Keď ťa stará pani poprosí, aby si ju previedol na druhú stranu ulice, odpovedáme
- AR JU FOKIN STJUPI BICZ ?
[áno, samozrejme]

Keď si chceš kúpiť kilo jabĺk
- GIMI E KILO FOKIN EJPLS, MATOFOKO
[prosím si kilogram tamtých nádherných jabĺk, pán predavač]

Keď vodič autobusu chce od teba lístok
- AR JU FOKIN KREJZI ESHOL?
[áno, hneď vám ho ukážem]

V obchode, keď reklamuješ zlý tovar
- SHIT MEN , JU EW SOLD MI A SOME FOKIN SHIT, JU DEMBES FOKIN MOTOFOKO SHITTY DIK.
[predali ste mi starú konzervu]

Keď sa zraníš na ruke, napríklad nožom
- OULI SHIT, FOK FOK FOK FOK! FOOOK!
[au]

Keď ťa bezdomovec - černošský žobrák poprosí o peniaze
- GET DA FOK AUT OF HIR BIFOR AJL KICK JO MOTOFOKIN SHIT ES
[prepáčte, ale nemám drobné]

Keď stojíš v zápche a iný vodiči na teba trúbia
- UAN MOR UORD END AJL GET JOR FOKIN ES AUT FROM DA KA END FOK UP HIR JU NESTI MOTOFOKIN BICZ
[len sa nerozčuľujte, aj tak sa to nezrýchli]

Bežný pracovný deň v oválnej pracovni

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East?

;-))))))))

OK, Oxi... where did you got it?

Oxi :-)))
muž netušených možností , tedy znalostí...

Juraj, it`s from www.funny.sk :)

Nene Michaelo, ja nic neviem ... ale tusim, ze by som sa casom nieco mohol naucit ;)

thenk ju for jor engliš. :)

:-))))

Juraji, nebo
wer did ju foook get it ? 
háj chomáčku :)

Videoverze: http://www.bomba.cz/video/bush-vola-condi/